I can't. Those fucking words in-prison me. I hate them. I despise them. They literally are the bane of my existence. They plague me. I wither in their fury and wrath. I would like to think I am stronger, but doubt....such doubt succumbs me.


I am coming of age when I am starting to see those around me enter into their career's, their lives, their futures...and I feel stuck. I know what I want, and when I want it, but seem unable to obtain it like my childhood "friends" have. I see people all around myself with talent, real talent. No matter what people's passions seem to be, they always seem to have the talent for it. And real, raw, uncut, powerful talent. But my talent seems to be failure.

I see talent as this...when you find something you are drawn too, you love, you live, you breath this...thing. This idea. This lifestyle. Whatever it is....and then you try it...and you succeed with the capabilities as though you had been bred for it...that's talent.

Now some people have talent, along with skill. Skill is acquired. That's all I feel I have to work for. Yet...my mind keeps telling me I can't go for skill because it's second best to natural talent.

Some people were just meant to be something....I was meant to be a mother. I am hoping I was meant to be a cop. A criminal catcher. A monster exterminator. What are you meant to be? And what are you willing to do to get there?